Midnight Train
by derpette-Waffle
Summary: Kurt gets some tragic news, and he and Blaine and Rachel fly back to Lima for the funeral. ((In honor of Cory Monteith. - A chapter taken directly from another fic of mine, including A/N, sorry.))


**A/N:** I wasn't sure I was gonna write anything today. I don't know what to, I've never really had to deal with death. I don't know how the Glee writers are going to handle this as far as Finn being gone, but whatever they do, please respect it. The cast and crew are grieving, and they have the right to do so in any way they need to. The writers are grieving too, and now they need to figure out what to do about his character in a way that's as painless as possible for everyone involved.

This here is my way to handle it, and even if you don't agree it's the best way, I'm putting my damndest into it.

* * *

**July 13th, 2014**

Have you ever had something you cared about yanked away from you, or come close enough to hurt you? It had seemed in recent years to happen all too often for me, mostly in the form of failed auditions. It was selfish and pathetic to pity myself instead of just being happy for those who got happiness, but when something you care about is within your reach but escapes your grasp, sometimes it's difficult to live with it.

It's amazing how quickly things can just go entirely wrong. One moment you're having a great time -maybe the best day of your life- and one little thing can send it all spiraling downward.

_And nobody in all of Oz_  
_No wizard that there is or was_  
_Is ever gonna bring me down...!_

There was an uproar of applause. I myself gave a standing ovation, even knowing that the show was only halfway over. After being such a fan for so many years, and seeing it then for the first time, I couldn't stay seated or keep the tears out of my eyes. Sure, this Elphaba was no Idina Menzel, but she was still magnificent and deserves every round of applause.

The stage lights went out, and the house lights came up. The performance would resume for Act II in about fifteen minutes, so I told Blaine and Rachel we needed to be back in ten. There was no way I was about to miss a single second. Rachel, nearly as excited about all this as I was, enthusiastically agreed.

Blaine, who had come less to see the show than to keep an eye on me -"make sure I'm safe"- just laughed and nodded. "Okay, but I really have to go to the bathroom. Good thing there's never a line for the men's room."

While Blaine used the facilities, Rachel and I headed to the merchandise kiosk, and in true fanatic fashion, we near bought out the whole inventory. We looked like tourists rather than actual city dwellers, but I guess that's what happens when you come from a small town to the metropolitan system.

Blaine caught up with us just as everyone was settling back into their seats. I took my phone out to turn it back off for the second half of the show when my screen lit up. Dad was calling me, so I had to answer, but the lights were fading out again.

"Dad, now's not a good time."

"I need to talk to you. It's important." He sounded exhausted, but I really couldn't talk right now.

"Okay, I'll call you back, bye." I hung up before he could say anything else, and turned my phone off to enjoy the rest of the performance uninterrupted.

We didn't head straight back to the apartment afterward. We went to get something to eat -high on life, I binged on McDonald's chicken nuggets- and walked around the city for a little while. We were in the tourist area anyway, so we could browse safely in the dark.

It wasn't until we got back home that I remembered that Dad had called and needed to talk about something important, and that I had promised to call him back. Blaine was already asleep -adorably so- and Rachel was in the shower, so whatever conversation that needed to be had could be done privately. For good measure, I stepped out onto the fire escape: it was a cool, calm night, and the sounds of traffic down below were surprisingly soothing for me. Leaning back against the stairs, I dialled the number.

At first, no one answered. Concerned, I tried again.

"Kurt?"

"Hey Dad," I smiled. "Sorry I cut you off earlier, I was seeing Wicked with Blaine and Rachel and intermission was ending."

"And you just got out now? Dammit, Kurt, it's almost ten o'clock."

I frowned: he never really got upset with me, especially not over something as trivial as a belated phone call. "I'm sorry...?" I didn't really know what to say.

I heard a heavy sigh on the other side of the line. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to snap at you..."

Now I was really worried. What had Dad so on edge? What was he so desperate to talk to me about? I knew then that something had to be really wrong.

I stood up, leaning on one of the support poles, staring down at the streets below. The people looked like ants from up here, and the cars little ant buggies. "Dad... what's going on?"

There was a long silence and what sounded like sniffling. I waited patiently for an answer.

"Your brother's dead."

The last time I was in Lima, I had an allergic reaction to peanuts. Finn had been roped into making brownies for his little cousin Haley's school bake sale. He was no baker, so I agreed to help out. It was just the two of us there, and it was kind of more a brother bonding exercise than a chore. We made two batches: one with nuts, and one without, and we kept them separate. The nuts were baked inside the sweets, and Finn, always a bit of an innocent klutz, got the two batches mixed up, mislabeled, but neither of us knew that until I tried one that I thought was sans peanuts.

He knew that I was allergic, but I don't think he was prepared to come back into the room, ready to drive with me to take the brownies to his aunt's house, to see me on the floor, trying to breathe and ultimately failing. Through blurred vision I saw the panic on his face as he raced out of the room. For a moment I actually considered he was just gonna leave me there, I knew he wouldn't, but lying there, chest constricting, it did cross my mind.

I was struggling not to black out. I knew full well that if I lost consciousness, I would likely not wake up. My whole body hurt, every square-inch on fire, but through the pounding in my ears I heard a voice -Finn's voice- around the corner.

"Yeah... Yeah, he's on the floor..."

He came back to the kitchen, phone to his ear and... epi-pen in hand. I didn't know who he was talking to, but he knelt down next to me, phone sandwiched between his shoulder and his head. He kept talking as he propped me up against him. I was wearing shorts, so Finn stuck the needle right into my thigh. I was barely with it anymore, and Finn was just hanging up.

"Kurt- Kurt, stay awake."

He seemed to be trying to comfort me but give me space at the same time. The epinephren was already taking effect, and breathing was becoming easier, but though I was gasping for air, oxygen wasn't getting in quick enough and I felt myself about to pass out.

"Kurt, I called an ambulance and your dad. You're gonna go to the hospital and he and my mom are gonna meet us there. I'm gonna stay with you, don't worry. You're gonna be alright, everything's gonna be alright.."

He was smiling down at me, tears in his eyes. I had to admit, I did feel safe.

Later in the hospital, once I was alright, Finn was apologizing every thirty seconds or so. I told him that it wasn't his fault, that he shouldn't feel bad over an accident, and when he refused to believe that, I told him that he had made up for it by helping me and staying with me.

He smiled a bit and took my hand, and I smiled back.

And then, just like that time in Lima, I felt like I couldn't breathe. I actually threw up over the edge of the fire escape, but couldn't think about the poor person my half-digested McNuggets might have hit down there. I collapsed back into a sitting position on the stairs -bruising my backside, not that I felt it.

"... Kurt? Are you still there?"

Physically, yes. Otherwise, I wasn't so sure. But I choked out an answer anyway. "Yeah. Yeah, I'm here." I sucked in a breath, and it felt like the first one since the news had hit me. I was still in shock. "I, um... H-How's Carole doing?" I didn't ask how it happened. I wasn't ready to hear that.

"She's broken up over it. Cried herself to sleep."

I hissed quietly. I knew I had to ask. As painful as it was, I had to know: "What... What happened?"

There was silence for a long moment. "He... He was at a party. He hadn't had anything to drink, but others there had. He was there with Puckerman, and was designated driver to get them both home. They were pulling onto the highway when someone else who'd been at the party, driving drunk, rammed them..."

I didn't want to hear any more. I hated interrupting, but "I'm gonna go tell Rachel..."

No response. Maybe he forgot that I couldn't tell he was nodding over the phone. "... Bye, Dad."

I had never seen Rachel Berry cry like she did that night.

Sure, I had seen Rachel cry before, usually over things that even I knew were trivial. But I also knew that Rachel's tears were never contrived: when she was upset, she got really upset, but she never shed a tear unless she really meant it. And I was always there to help her through it, and this time would be no exception.

I couldn't imagine how badly she was hurting. Just recently she confided in me that, even though they hadn't been together in almost two years, she was still in love with him, and always would be. And now, all of a sudden, Finn was gone.

I never made it to bed with Blaine that night. I stayed with her on the couch, hugging her, trying to console my best friend. I put on all her favorite musicals, but I knew she wasn't paying attention. I made her favorite breakfast at three AM, but she didn't touch it. By that time, she seemed to go numb. I guess she'd reached the point where she just couldn't cry, couldn't feel anymore.

The funeral was that Sunday. Blaine and Rachel and I flew into Lima on Saturday morning, and stayed the night at my family's house. Finn's room -what had been his room before graduation- was left untouched. I think that night I heard Rachel in there, crying, but I decided she needed her space. Comforting did nothing to ease her pain, because it couldn't bring Finn back. Nothing would bring him back.

The wake was early in the morning. Rachel slept on my shoulder on the way there, exhausted.

When we got there, Blaine got to socializing, expressing condolences to Finn's family and comforting friends from McKinley.

Rachel spent the entire time at the casket. She wasn't crying; she just stood there, hand resting on the closed casket. She might have had tears in her eyes, if she could muster them after all the crying she'd done over the last few days.

I went over the familiar faces.

Quinn had flown in from Connecticut to come. She had tears in her eyes the whole time, but she seemed more concerned with comforting the Hudson family, mourning the tragic loss with them. She was with Carole a lot of the time, and when I spoke to her briefly, she said quietly, "I owe them both so much." I just nodded and hugged her. We didn't speak the rest of the time.

Artie was nowhere to be found, but Tina told me he was here. I kept an eye out for him the whole time. Tina, on that note, was crying outright, lamenting how unfair the world is.

Santana and Brittany stood in the corner most of the time. It looked like Santana was trying to comfort Brittany, while needing comfort herself. I didn't dare intrude on them.

Mike was teary-eyed but they never fell. He was trying to stay strong. Mercedes was, too, but I think it was more difficult for her to keep a brave face.

Sam looked lost, like it still hadn't sunk in for him. He kind of just sat there for a while, then at one point just got up and walked out. I didn't know if he had come back.

Rory had come all the way from Ireland to be here. Sugar was the one who paid for the flight. They were together for a while then, and Rory was kind of just holding her the whole time. She looked pretty lost, kind of like Sam. Joe was standing with them for a little while. He was praying through most of the wake.

Jake, Marley, Ryder, and Kitty might have been there, but I myself didn't see them.

Puck didn't seem to be there at first either, and no one indicated that he had come. I was worried about him.

I went around to Finn's family members, telling them how sorry I was that they were going through this. Some of the older family members, like grandparents and great uncles and aunts, didn't seem to like the fact that the "queer was here." I took it all with a grain of salt. The Hudson clan was bred in Ohio, and I was lucky enough that most of them were more evolved and open-minded. I just let them know that I was here if they needed anything. They told me to go away, and I didn't bother them further.

Toward the end of the wake, Finn's cousin came up to me, tapping my shoulder. Rebecca was thirteen and Haley's older sister. We were familiar with each other, the family being rather close. I turned and hugged her, and she hugged me back.

"Don't listen to Nanna and the others. He's your brother, you're allowed to miss him." She let go and stared up at me with shining wet eyes. My heart broke for her. "You don't have to be the strong one today."

She headed off to take Haley up to the casket. I stood there, slightly stunned. I knew Rebecca was a smart girl, but that was not something I'd expected from such a young girl.

It took three hours for me to bring myself to walk up to the casket. The lid was closed: I realized painfully that I would never see my brother again. Grief gripped me again, and I felt like I couldn't breathe once more. Finn was gone; I would never see him again, ever.

I needed some air.

I headed outside, breathing becoming easier when I stepped out onto the sidewalk. I tilted my head back, forcing back the tears. I know Rebecca had told me I didn't have to be strong, but at the same time I knew Finn wouldn't want to see me or anyone crying over him.. "Wherever you are.."

"Hummel?"

I jumped, startled at the voice addressing me. I turned to where it had come from, but didn't see anyone. I moved to the corner of the building in the direction from which the voice came and looked around. I wasn't anticipating what I saw.

There were Artie and Puck, both drinking, in wheelchairs.

I don't think it really hit me when I heard about the accident that Puck had been involved, too. I didn't ask how he had been hurt, and I had had no idea at the time that he was left paralyzed from the waist down.

I wish I had gone over to speak to him. I just wasn't ready.

I was asked to say something up at the podium before the burial. For once my eloquence put me into a difficult situation.

I stood up there, sweating a bit, up in front of so many people mourning. I glanced over to the casket. A fairly recent picture of Finn smiling that dorky smile sat atop it.

I took a deep breath. Now or never.

"Death is a curious thing. One moment, someone can be there -smiling, laughing- and then the next, they're gone, wiped off the face of the earth like they had been of no significance. I can tell you now, there is no insignificant person in the world. Everyone's death leaves someone grieving, and whether it's ten or ten thousand mourners, that person meant something and their loss is painful. When... When I was eight, I lost my mother. I learned then that you need to love the ones you have while you have them, because they won't be around forever. I wish I could've remembered that before it was too late."

I sucked in a breath. "Finn and I may have only known each other a few years, and maybe we were only stepbrothers to the outside world, but in our own little world we were as bonded and any blood brothers could be. We always knew we had each other in our corners. He was there for me more than I could've ever asked from anyone, even when I acted like I didn't want it... I never had a brother, never had a true friend, before I had Finn. He brought me out of my shell, and always made sure I knew it was okay to be who I am. I'll always have him in my heart for that. And I don't know where he is now -no one really knows what comes after life- but I do know he's still here, in all our hearts. That will keep him with us forever. So, in a way, we don't really need to miss him, because he's right here. Every smile, every kind word, every lame joke... He's here. And with him still here with us, I can't say goodbye to him, just that I love him." I stepped down and placed my hand on the casket for a moment, sucking in a breath. I really did still feel him here with me.

The Glee kids -all of them, whatever generation- all gathered for a song in his honor. I -all of us- tried not to cry.

I don't think it worked very well.

_From the day we arrive on the planet_  
_And blinking, step into the sun_  
_There's more to be seen than can ever be seen_  
_More to do than can ever be done_

_Some say eat or be eaten_  
_Some say live and let live_  
_But all are agreed as they join the stampede_  
_You should never take more than you give_

_In the circle of life_  
_It's the wheel of fortune_  
_It's the leap of faith_  
_It's the band of hope_  
_Till we find our place_  
_On the path unwinding_  
_In the circle, the circle of life_

_Some of us fall by the wayside_  
_And some of us soar to the stars_  
_And some of us sail through our troubles_  
_And some have to live with the scars_

_There's far too much to take in here_  
_More to find than can ever be found_  
_But the sun rolling high through the sapphire sky_  
_Keeps great and small on the endless round_

_In the circle of life_  
_It's the wheel of fortune_  
_It's the leap of faith_  
_It's the band of hope_  
_Till we find our place_  
_On the path unwinding_  
_In the circle, the circle of life_

_In the circle, the circle of life..._

**Finnegan Christopher Hudson**  
**May 11th, 1994 - July 13th, 2014**  
**Son, Brother, Friend**  
_**"He took the midnight train going anywhere..."**_

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**A/N:** No outwardly abusive Blaine in this chapter, because this chapter is not for the Blaine haters. My prayers go out to the Monteith family and to Lea, and I pray that everyone has the chance to grieve in whatever way they need to. Also for my boyfriend of two weeks last year, who around this time died of leukemia -he was my first relationship, and I was his last. And to anyone reading this, I hope you're okay. If you need to talk to anyone, or just want to vent your hatred for the situation, contact me. I love you guys.

Rest in Peace, Cory, and Rest in Peace, Justin.

_- xx Litsy Kalyptica_


End file.
